Learning to Let Go

Over multiple years, it is easy to collect paper, books, relationships, and items that can keep one in a metaphorical ‘stuck’ place along the continuum of what is known as growth. As I transition into a new area of my professional life, I have purged many files, books, and trinkets that have traveled along the way as constant companions. At first, it felt like a betrayal of the 'stuff' that followed me around for so long. I have packed them and unpacked them from classroom to classroom; office move to office move. However, it became evident to me that holding on to some things may keep me forever lodged in that space between my past and my present. 

Cleaning out the baggage that was constantly with me caused me to review other aspects of my life. There was much around me that was burdensome.  The surprise was that while I was busy throwing away the physical, the real clutter was lodged in the crevices and corners of my mind, my heart, and my soul. Long held resentment and disappointment about a variety of circumstances were piling up silently within me. The constant purging brought them all to the surface like a flood. It was clear that the time had come for me to deal with the weight of my past.

 As an educational leader, helping others move forward is critical. Often we get stuck in a moment, a decision, or an issue. The art of teaching is knowing which things to move away from in order to provide room for sustainable growth. The art of leading in education is to first know where we may become stuck. If I am to offer those I lead a method of letting go, I must learn how to do so in my own environment.  My reflection led me to reading. My reading led me to altering my thinking:

Closure does not come from others. Only I can provide closure. The other person can never put an end to it. That must come from within my own heart and mind.

Resentment often can find its source in our disappointment that another person did not meet our expectations. We must forgive others for not meeting our expectations of their behaviors
Holding on to a grudge, really destroys no one except me. My resentment can only harm me. I am lacking energy. I am lacking confidence. I am hurting.

I am the only source of peace. To be healthy, I must decide to bring closure to what makes me resentful or disappointed. I have two choices, (1) Let it hurt me forever and never move forward. (2) Accept it, learn, and move on.

Human to hold on things. Healthy and human to let go.

This resource was helpful for me 40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain